Um, hello everyone.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Xiuhtonal, the Public Relations manager here. But that's not really why I'm talking to all of you now.

[She fidgets slightly, obviously nervous about something.] It's actually about Lorris, the current Speaker. He... Seems to have gotten a little bit sick. I'm sure it's not the fever! But still, there is cause to worry... He's currently in quarantine at the hospital, so please keep him in your thoughts everyone. Or your prayers, if you do that sort of thing.

Um. Yes. That is all. Thank you for listening!

[There was a chirpy little whistle which signified the mirror turning on to a video feed, though no one seemed aware of it. Feferi sat on Lancer's shoulder, though she was unseen--pointing at things with her index finger a bit rudely before he reached over to set her on the ground. Wordlessly, Lancer manifested his spear--though, all the camera could see was the flash of red light and the tip of the spear before he swung it and took out the side of an old abandoned building by the caves.

Dozens of steel rods fell in from the exposed section of wall, landing at their feet. Lancer sat down after prying one out of the pile, resting it on his lap.]

It's no good, fightin' bare handed--even if you're really good at it. If someone else comes around that you can't handle, you'll be put out.

Whale, I'd like to meet whatever you might think could be doin' that. [But despite her words, she sounds incredibly excited.] Excluding the present company, of course. We ain't all got your fancyfins magic.

No magic this time. Trust me, I hate relyin' on the stuff. [Lancer propped up one of the steel rods, lifting the tip of his spear up to it. Then, he began shaving strips of steel off of the tip of the rod, sharpening it to a point bit by bit. When he was done, he raised it up for Feferi to take.] See? It's a quick-fix, if any. Too bad we can't carry the rest of these rods in case we don't have time to sharpen that one up on the go.

[Feferi literally hugs the spear to her chest with a gleeful glub.]

I'll just be havin' to make it count, now won't I? [A ridiculous number of glubs follows that.] We'll be eating good tonight, all kinds of cluckbeast skewers!

Birds? I thought they were turtles.

Are they?

They were making noises you'd figure a bird would make, but they definitely looked like turtles.

I just thought that meant they were all ugly birds. [Very seriously: ] They must be birdles.

[All the humor evaporated from Lancer's expression.] We're not callin' them that.

[ Most people who know a Karkat Vantas will recognize this troll when he appears on the network, but he'll look pretty...different to most if not all of them. He's got a scar on one cheek, pierced ears, and his horns are a bit notched from what looks like blade slices. Also, he's wearing a completely pristine white coat. ]

All right, kids, listen up. First things first, I need a roll call here. I'm not holding out much hope but if any of you know any of these people then speak up - or especially if you are these people, don't think I won't kick your ass from here to the Gods-damned Ascension for being coy with me. I'm looking for Archagent Eridan Ampora, has these chewed-up fins on his face and a face like God took out all their favorite bits but left him pretty anyway, can't have an emotion that doesn't belong in a soap opera. Sollux Captor, probably behind a computer and failing to remember that food and sleep exist as we speak, if you've seen him and haven't been blinded by the world's tackiest gold cape that he just loves wearing at all times then you're lucky. Terezi Pyrope, blind and completely inappropriate at all times and with a wardrobe that induces more seizures than Sollux, probably pails herself to courtblock dramas every night. Gamzee Makara, the hugest doofiest clown cultist ever, unfairly good cook but don't ever eat his pies unless you like tripping out on sopor. If any of these names and descriptions are familiar to you, speak the fuck up, I haven't got time to search out every hidey-hole in this hopbeast warren of a city.

Secondly, I've already been imposed on by one giant lizard to go get him stuff, so why not, I'll be generous. My name's Karkat Vantas, I'm a Threshecutioner, my job is to keep the world oiled so hell, if you've got a problem then lay it on me. I don't trust any of these asswounds who had the great idea to kidnap people and make them fix their shit instead of fixing it themselves, but whatever, I have important things to do back home so I'm not going to sit on my glutes whining. If they want me to help I'll help with anything within reason, as long as it gets me home faster. Most of my work back home involved the undead, giant monsters and relationship drama, but I'll do whatever needs doing. Hit me up if you need anything, it's not like I can get a break back home so there's not much point to taking one here.

[ He might sound just a little bitter about that. After a moment, he sighs and shuts off the video. ]

[The video switches on to show a young boy sitting on the ground in front of a bed, a rather large black bunny in his lap and a creepy looking dark blue one with red and blue eyes peering at the mirror from the bed behind him. He doesn't look surprised, or anything really. His expression is blank, not even boredom registering.]

This is number four. I guess I should be glad that there's no have sex or be punished rule here like there was the last couple times. And they give free rooms. But it's kinda overrated. Sleeping under trees is nice. But I guess since this is a cave there wouldn't be any trees huh.

[His voice has about as much expression as his face, mostly a deadpan tone.]

I don't think I'm going home anytime soon. But at least this place is interesting. Kind of. I don't like the frog people. But that might be karma. I probably shouldn't have killed so many frogs. Now it's coming back to haunt me. Those things are kinda scary.

[He pauses, and for just a moment there's almost an unreadable emotion there as he looks down at the bunny in his lap before turning back up to the mirror.]

I know it's stupid to ask. Especially since they might not know me. But I might as well. Anyone know if there's a man named Dualscar here? Or a guy named Lyn? They're both trolls. Dualscar's a really tall seadweller and Lyn's a pretty short lowblood. They're kinda hard to miss. They were moved to the same world as me once before, figured it couldn't hurt seeing if they were this time as well. Probably not with my luck. But trying doesn't hurt.

[[OOC: No, Fran is not wearing his frog hat. This one had the pleasure of ditching his a good while back.]]

[The video feed flickered on as the close up of a rather curious face came straight to view. Switching the camera around from one direction to the next, as if doing his best to get a full understanding of it.]

This' thing is on right? Um, test, test. So on, so fourth. And all that sort of stuff that people say when they're trying to figure these things out.

Well! If it's not working I'm just making myself look like an idiot and talking to no one here! But I thought it was about time I figured this shit out, right?

I mean, of course it's probably working. So far nobody else seemed to be having any trouble with these things.

...Been kinda hesitant about using this though... AHEM!

Alright! Listen up peeps! This is a direct message dedicated to whoever it is that's in control of this freaking place!

Yeah! You know who you are! And if that's the case then you probably know who I am too since you brought me here some weird way where I thought I was dead but apparently I am not. I'm filin' a direct complaint as it were in regards to the initial living conditions which we were set up with!

Okay. You still with me? Good.

[He placed the mirror down, showing the interior to his assigned housing quarters mainly pointing down the direction of the long narrow hallway.]

You see this right? This little area right here? Yeah. This is that place that's supposed to lead to most of the respiteblocks and stuff.

Now.

Look at me.

[The complaint was extremely apparent actually. In fact most would probably wonder how he got into the apartment to begin with with his horns roughly size and shape of an american football goal.]

Right. You see the problem here yeah? Except. There's more to it. You all know what's down there right? Two other respiteblocks which heck if I care to go in 'em. AND THE ABLUTIONBLOCK.

Do you have any idea what I have been having to do these days without a proper ablution chamber or load gaper. Beleive me. You don' wanna know.

I am requesting a serious change be made here for all us horned folk you who you all quite obviously did not take into consideration when laying out these things!

[Fingertips leave red smears across the mirror as they fumble to use it, and when the feed comes on a broken, wracking sob can be heard, obviously coming from the head bent and half-hidden by a mane of dark hair, green tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggles to talk.]

W-work, please, you have to...

[And as soon as she realizes it's on she places it down none too gently, her blood-stained hands immediately returning to the head cradled on her lap.]

[The man in her lap is awash in bright red blood, seeping from gashes that littered what little of him can be seen from the angle of the mirror. His breathing is pained and ragged, dark lips parched and dry pulled into a grimace around sharp teeth, and as Di holds him a faint rustling of chains can be heard.]

Help, someone, anyone, I don't...I don't know how much longer he can last like this. [She bends her head until their foreheads touch, unmindful of the blood, her voice beyond distraught.] How could they...hold on, love, please, stay with me...