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[ Most people who know a Karkat Vantas will recognize this troll when he appears on the network, but he'll look pretty...different to most if not all of them. He's got a scar on one cheek, pierced ears, and his horns are a bit notched from what looks like blade slices. Also, he's wearing a completely pristine white coat. ]

All right, kids, listen up. First things first, I need a roll call here. I'm not holding out much hope but if any of you know any of these people then speak up - or especially if you are these people, don't think I won't kick your ass from here to the Gods-damned Ascension for being coy with me. I'm looking for Archagent Eridan Ampora, has these chewed-up fins on his face and a face like God took out all their favorite bits but left him pretty anyway, can't have an emotion that doesn't belong in a soap opera. Sollux Captor, probably behind a computer and failing to remember that food and sleep exist as we speak, if you've seen him and haven't been blinded by the world's tackiest gold cape that he just loves wearing at all times then you're lucky. Terezi Pyrope, blind and completely inappropriate at all times and with a wardrobe that induces more seizures than Sollux, probably pails herself to courtblock dramas every night. Gamzee Makara, the hugest doofiest clown cultist ever, unfairly good cook but don't ever eat his pies unless you like tripping out on sopor. If any of these names and descriptions are familiar to you, speak the fuck up, I haven't got time to search out every hidey-hole in this hopbeast warren of a city.

Secondly, I've already been imposed on by one giant lizard to go get him stuff, so why not, I'll be generous. My name's Karkat Vantas, I'm a Threshecutioner, my job is to keep the world oiled so hell, if you've got a problem then lay it on me. I don't trust any of these asswounds who had the great idea to kidnap people and make them fix their shit instead of fixing it themselves, but whatever, I have important things to do back home so I'm not going to sit on my glutes whining. If they want me to help I'll help with anything within reason, as long as it gets me home faster. Most of my work back home involved the undead, giant monsters and relationship drama, but I'll do whatever needs doing. Hit me up if you need anything, it's not like I can get a break back home so there's not much point to taking one here.

[ He might sound just a little bitter about that. After a moment, he sighs and shuts off the video. ]

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Not sure I'd trust the story, coming from the officials. How long have you been around, landing a position like that?

A few months. I didn't do anything special, I was just one of the first ones taken, so I was convenient. But they don't seem to be that bad so far, for a government that kidnaps people. Surprisingly democratic.

So, um... can I ask how you know Eridan at home? [She has to bite the inside of her lip to keep herself from babbling to soften the question.]

Well, he's my matesprit's kismesis, and my moirail is his moirail's matesprit. Inclade. [ And my matesprit as well. Not that Karkat's talking about that - better safe than sorry. ] We do a lot of work together, go on ill-advised adventures. We're best friends, despite my better judgement, what a fucking ponce I picked for the position. [ His voice is terribly fond, and he even has a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

Then it disappears as quick as it came, before he speaks again. ]

He. Hasn't talked about me?

[She frowns slightly, distracted from being nervous by the puzzle this presents, though she rushes to reassure him.] No, well, not that I remember, but we don't always talk about people from home. We can't be sure we're ever going to see them again. It gets hard.

--Oh, you know what, Sollux mentioned you, [she brightens.] The last place I was before this, he was there for a little while, and when he first woke up he thought you'd drugged his coffee again or something? [In a more teasing tone,] Sounds like true friendship.

Edited 2012-09-14 23:55 (UTC)

Oh, that, yeah. He never sleeps unless I do. Did, I guess, that sounds like back when we were moirails, not that I wasn't completely shit at it.

[ He sounds fond and despairing all at once. ]

Your turn, Red. How do you know Fins? Any embarrassing stories to share? [ And he grins, a little. Family's always gotta tease, right? ]

I'm sure you were fine at it, [she soothes.] He seemed like he missed you, anyway.

[Being called Red makes her think of Spike, which is not a totally bad association now. Willow's opinion on him changed a lot over the last year at home. At the question, though, her face slowly starts to match her hair. She's doing a lot better at embarrassing herself than embarrassing Eridan by proxy.]

Oh, well... We met at the tower, this really awful place we were before this, back when it was just us from our worlds and we were on our own. [She's still on her own, but she tries not to complain about that. She feels like if she starts then she'll never stop.]

I told him I was a witch and he insisted magic wasn't real, so I proved it to him by giving him a new outfit, which I didn't realize at the time was like, his favorite thing in existence.

One thing led to another, and... we've been dating for a while now. I guess it was sort of inevitable.

No, really, I'm being honest here - I was shit at it. Terezi's much better for him. Never got the hang of calming him, and it was...complicated. Everyone involved is better off now we're flush, really.

[ He listens with the beginnings of a fond smile, nodding slightly, picturing Eridan's delight to find someone who could make him clothes on command-

And then Willow says that very last thing, and it feels like the bottom of his stomach has fallen out. His eyes visibly widen in shock. ]

You- what.

[ He's too surprised to keep his composure, keep things under wraps - Eridan didn't even mention him before starting to carry on with an alien? ]

[She opens her mouth to question that little summary of relationship drama further, interested in other peoples' love lives as always, and then he nearly freezes in shock.

Willow's eyes widen right back, and suddenly she's back to looking unsure of herself and vaguely vulnerable.] Um... yeah, it was-- it was months ago that we started. Why? Do you...

[Her frown deepens, eyebrows furrowing, but she's not sure what's going on yet.] What is it?

Nope. Nope! Nope, nope, nope, I can't do this, I am done, I am so done.

[ Just yesterday Eridan was saying he'd court him with Sollux, they'd have each other's rings even if they couldn't wear them - but this? Not mentioning his best friend and the person he loved to someone before he started a new relationship? That was hard to believe. That stung, from the person who'd tried hardest to love him when he'd been so awful.

He wonders what it is he could have done so wrong, to make Eridan act like he didn't exist. It has to be something, right? Something he's fucked up, and fucked up badly. He doesn't know if he even wants to know. ]

Wait... you... [She still doesn't have any answers, but she can see how upset he is. Willow says more strongly,] Karkat, stop. Tell me what's going on. There's a lot of-- of confusing interdimensional hijinks, okay, whatever you're thinking might not be true. Just calm down.

[She's already feeling the sting of irrational guilt at his distress, and it's going to get worse if she doesn't try to help him. She does want to make things better if she can-- she's just that compassionate-- but the guilt definitely spurs her along faster.]

Nothing I want to embarrass myself on a public feed over.

[ And he turns off his mirror. 8( ]

[Oh no, no way, now she's practically consumed with guilt. And Willow can't just let that stand; she's done enough wallowing in nonsensical guilt to last her several lifetimes. It's simple to pull out a map of the city and do a locator spell-- there's only two redblooded trolls here, and she has a good guess at which one is Signless based on location, so tracking down Karkat is not difficult.

Map in hand, jaw set in determination to make things right, Willow sets off through the streets looking for him.]

Hey, [she calls out when she finds him. Then she falters, her earlier confidence draining. What does she really know about him? What if he'll hate her for intruding, or just for existing, if her dating Eridan bothered him that much? She swallows, and goes on tentatively,] I don't know if this is more or less embarrassing, but I didn't want to leave you all... all alone and upset.

[ As she comes in close and calls out out to him, he startles, and on automatic he turns and pulls his sickle, fitting it neatly around her throat. ]

You don't sneak up on a whitecoat, Red, that's like assisted suicide! Some unscrupulous fucks might be happy to help out if that's what pulls out your pail but I have enough blood on my hands already, thanks!

For reference, stalking is also a pretty bad idea. How did you find me?

[ He backs off a little, lifting away his sickle but not putting it away just yet. ]

[Willow squeaks loudly and freezes, staring at him wide-eyed and instinctively terrified to have a blade next to her throat, even if she doesn't really think he'd hurt her. It might be obvious from the careful way she doesn't move that she's not only been threatened before, she's been held hostage before. Now he's really reminding her of Spike.]

I don't know what whitecoat means, [she protests over her heart racing.] Except for 'got lost on your way to a bad prom'. I'm a witch, remember, no stalking necessary. I just did a locator spell.

Can we put the scary thing away now? I was worried about you, that's all.

[It's pretty clear she means that; her expression is still furrowed enough to show her concern, aside from how self-conscious she is.]

No, I don't remember, because you never mentioned it.

[ He does, however, put his sickle away with a little sigh. God, even without the worm in his head he's acting like a douche with douche sprinkles. Old habits die hard. ]

Shit. Sorry, Red, I'm better than that but I don't take it well when people get the jump on me. Didn't mean to freak you out.

[ He tugs on his lapels a bit, demonstratively. ] For future reference, "whitecoat" is a reference to the uniform. Which I earned through a hell of a lot of training, I'll have you know! I'm a Threshecutioner, I'm social enforcement, they trained survival into me from the tips of my stubby horns to the tips of my stubby toes, okay?

I sort of mentioned it, but it's... it's okay. Everything's just crazy right now. [She wraps her arms around herself and hugs anyway, despite her forgiving words, more unsure than ever about what she's doing. Willow doesn't know what she's getting into, she's probably being presumptuous, why would he want some stranger to talk to him...

But she has to do it now, so she verbally leaps right into it, blurting out her words. It's her usual approach to saying something she doesn't want to say. It comes out rushed and earnest and scared of his reaction.]

I won't sneak up on you again. I'm sorry-- about earlier. I know this is really hard, but... on the way over, I was thinking. I saw that Feferi didn't recognize you. I didn't mean to snoop, I just-- maybe they're from before you met them? Time wise.

I know what I said, but Eridan wouldn't forget someone that was important to him. And you... must be important to him. It's the only answer I can think of.

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense, as much as anything does here. Time shenanigans, why not.

[ Karkat sighs, sitting down on the nearest convenient horizontal surface. ]

No need to go all trembly, Red, I'm not going to eat you. I'm just- tired. I'm so tired and I can't catch a break for one minute of my life. I could've handled him not being here. This is just cruel.

[She smiles weakly.] I know. I had my dead girlfriend show up before. It's not fair.

[She slowly shuffles over and tentatively sits next to him, leaning in to get a clear view at his face. Willow is still nervous, but she isn't letting it stop her-- she's mostly just nervous because she's still expecting him to tell her to shove off.] I know you won't eat me, which um, is an improvement over some other people I've had similar conversations with. I just feel badly. I didn't realize it'd be such hard news, and I said it, and you just got here. I try not to lay the big stuff on people all at once.

Shit, kid, that's rough. You've got my sympathies for that one.

[ He sighs, leaning over with his back hunched, bracing his elbows on his knees. Curling in on himself. He wants something disgustingly sweet to ease this, already, it feels like his insides are getting dragged across a cheese grater. ]

It's not your fault, Red. If he doesn't know it, you couldn't be expected to either. I won't make an issue out of it, if you two are happy together I'm glad for you. I'm just being a self-pitying sack of crap, don't mind me.

[Willow's good at reading people, it's one of her strengths, and Karkat isn't exactly hard to read. She nudges in closer so that she's just brushing one of his arms, not wanting to be more forward when they don't know each other, but unable to just sit there when he's curling in like that.]

Hey, no, [she says strongly, nervousness fading away.] I'm minding, this is me minding. I can read the subtext here, I'm not stupid. If I were in your place I'd be crying and embarrassing myself and, and who knows what. You're doing fine.

It's okay to be upset. I don't blame you.

[By now she's pretty much put together that, wow, they had to have been dating, even though Karkat had said he was dating Sollux now or something? It's all a lot more complicated than Willow can follow, exactly, and to tell the truth it does make her defensive. But she trusts Eridan-- she trusts him a lot by now-- and her heart really goes out to Karkat for being in this situation, whatever it is, precisely.

Even if she has absolutely no intention of giving Eridan up for anyone, she doesn't need to be cruel about it. Ultimately she just dislikes seeing someone hurt.]

Sorry. I'm being completely obvious and dragging my issues around in humiliating fashion, I know. Selfish of me anyway. This just is not the kind of thing I was prepared for. I went to bed happy for the first time in over a sweep yesterday and then- fuck, maybe it was just a hallucination, a fever dream, I get a truly astonishing number of those because God doesn't know how to take fuck off for an answer.

[ She's so good and sweet, it's really unfair. Karkat can't fault Eridan or hate her one bit for this. It hurts, sure, but hurt is a fact of life for him. "Threshecutioner" ain't shorthand for "swapped the right to ever be happy," what a laugh. This girl, alien though she is, seems a pretty good sort. He bets they're good for each other. He wouldn't dream of interfering with any kind of relationship where Eridan had a better shot of being equal. It's not fair of him to any party involved to feel this way.

No one ever said Karkat Vantas was good at being the emotional martyr, though. No matter how many times this kind of thing happens, it always hurts. Every time. ]

[He's so much like her. That's really all she can think. Willow isn't any good at being unselfish either, in fact is awful at it, and she feels her heart ache in sympathy.]

No, don't-- don't apologize, [she says helplessly.] Being happy wasn't a hallucination, it wasn't. You'll be happy again.

... Would it be too awkward if I gave you a hug right now? You look like you really, really need a hug.

Sure, why not, we've reached maximum embarrassment by now anyway.

[ He mumbles it to the ground. God, he feels so awful, both for the complete unfairness of the situation and for daring to be unhappy that someone he loves has their own happiness. ]

I think there's a state beyond that where the embarrassment just goes nova, but-- but don't worry about that.

[She lurches forward and hugs him, letting her genuine empathy carry her through the awkward physical position and the circumstances. She's twisted in place, arms wrapping around him, her anxiety draining away as she falls into the role of comforting someone.] It'll be okay, [she murmurs.] You just got here. Give yourself some time.

An explosion would be pretty welcome at this point, actually. A mercy kill and all that.

[ He goes silent for once, though, leaning into her. He's not used to being the one comforted instead of the one giving comfort. He misses Gamzee, wishes he were here because this feels a lot like being unfaithful to his brand-new pale quadrant. Still. He doesn't feel as comforted as he would with Gamzee, squawkblisters are definitely not a go, so maybe this can go by as inclade friendship support.

God, he wants to go home. ]

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