lostnetwork | 1 ♋ VIDEO

[ Most people who know a Karkat Vantas will recognize this troll when he appears on the network, but he'll look pretty...different to most if not all of them. He's got a scar on one cheek, pierced ears, and his horns are a bit notched from what looks like blade slices. Also, he's wearing a completely pristine white coat. ]

All right, kids, listen up. First things first, I need a roll call here. I'm not holding out much hope but if any of you know any of these people then speak up - or especially if you are these people, don't think I won't kick your ass from here to the Gods-damned Ascension for being coy with me. I'm looking for Archagent Eridan Ampora, has these chewed-up fins on his face and a face like God took out all their favorite bits but left him pretty anyway, can't have an emotion that doesn't belong in a soap opera. Sollux Captor, probably behind a computer and failing to remember that food and sleep exist as we speak, if you've seen him and haven't been blinded by the world's tackiest gold cape that he just loves wearing at all times then you're lucky. Terezi Pyrope, blind and completely inappropriate at all times and with a wardrobe that induces more seizures than Sollux, probably pails herself to courtblock dramas every night. Gamzee Makara, the hugest doofiest clown cultist ever, unfairly good cook but don't ever eat his pies unless you like tripping out on sopor. If any of these names and descriptions are familiar to you, speak the fuck up, I haven't got time to search out every hidey-hole in this hopbeast warren of a city.

Secondly, I've already been imposed on by one giant lizard to go get him stuff, so why not, I'll be generous. My name's Karkat Vantas, I'm a Threshecutioner, my job is to keep the world oiled so hell, if you've got a problem then lay it on me. I don't trust any of these asswounds who had the great idea to kidnap people and make them fix their shit instead of fixing it themselves, but whatever, I have important things to do back home so I'm not going to sit on my glutes whining. If they want me to help I'll help with anything within reason, as long as it gets me home faster. Most of my work back home involved the undead, giant monsters and relationship drama, but I'll do whatever needs doing. Hit me up if you need anything, it's not like I can get a break back home so there's not much point to taking one here.

[ He might sound just a little bitter about that. After a moment, he sighs and shuts off the video. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

oh
sorry
youre not usin your blood colour
wwhat do you wwant wwith me

YEAH, IT'S A THRESHECUTIONER THING.
SUPPOSED TO BE ABOVE MATTERS OF BLOOD, THAT KIND OF THING.
AND I DON'T KNOW, I WAS HOPING I'D FIND MY FRIEND HERE, BUT SINCE WE APPARENTLY HAVEN'T MET THAT BLOWS THAT IDEA RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER.

um wwoww
wwere really friends you an me
but im a lowwblood still wwhere youre at right i mean you havvent gotten it backwwards because theres another eridan here wwhose royal wwho might be the one you mean

ERIDAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT YOU'RE A GOOD KID, NOT THAT YOU'VE GOT FINS ON YOUR FACE.

wwell fine a course thats the only thing wworth wworryin about
im sorry i dont remember you
i met another kar but i nevver really talked to him and wwhere he came from i wwas a highblood a course because thats the wway it is in most a the vvarious wworlds apparently
i really took you to my ship

NOT YOUR FAULT.
AND YEAH, YOU DID. YOU INTRODUCED ME TO YOUR MOIRAIL.
SHIT, HAVE YOU MET GAMZEE YET? I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHEN THAT IS.

so evverythin wwas okay im guessin wwhen you met fef

ivve met a couple a gamzees
one wwas yelloww an one wwas indigo
but that wwas in the towwer not at home

THAT'S A NO, THEN.
WELL
NEVER MIND.
SO DO WE GET TO HANG OUT SOMETIME OR AM I FREAKING YOU OUT TOO MUCH.

im not freaked out in the least wwhat the fuck do you take me for
im archagent eridan ampora scourge a the fuckin seas an im not intimidated by any kind a pureblood troll evven you
besides you seem pretty much a softie
i could meet up wwith you if you wwant

THAT WOULD BE
NICE
AT LEAST I THINK IT WOULD?
WHO KNOWS, MAYBE I'M SETTING MYSELF UP FOR THE DISASTER OF THE CENTURY.

hey calm dowwn its okay
theres a lot a wweirdness that happens but ultimately probably best to just think a ourselvves as strangers
wwhich isnt to say wwe couldnt be friends evventually if wwe wwere before

[ There is an indignant squawk and a splash. ]

You conch just go meetin' people like that!

[ Mostly because she wants to come, too. ]

Wwhy not? You're bein' dowwnright mean to the guy, Fef. An he wwent an thinks he came to our ship an evverythin'.

I wasn't bein' mean or anyfin of the sort.

You totally wwere! An here he is all alone. Wwe ought a extend the prong a friendship.

Then you gotta take me! I won't hear of nofin else.

[ Glubbing softly. ] I won't.

[Glub.] Now hang on... [It's one thing for him to go meet a redblood, but bringing Fef along? He's not entirely sure that's a good idea, even if Karkat did claim he's met Feferi already] A course if he's a good troll you'll get to meet him, Fef...

What? You're the one tellin' me to make nice and such, but you won't let me see?

voice;

wwaterboy - 2012-09-16 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

unfathomabubbly - 2012-09-16 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

wwaterboy - 2012-09-16 03:38 (UTC) - Expand

YEAH, THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.
BUT I'D STILL LIKE TO TRY FOR IT IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND WHERE I'M FROM AND I
YEAH.

WOW THAT DOESN'T SOUND PATHETIC OR ANYTHING.

wwell maybe its pathetic but ill forgivve it
you wwant to meet up noww then

YEAH, SURE.
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING RESEMBLING A SCHEDULE JUST YET, THANK FUCK.

wwell youvve caught me at a time wwhen i dont happen to havve anythin to do
im a pretty busy guy at the best a times

FINE, WHATEVER.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET UP?

wwell you could come to my hivve i guess
seems fef got it into her head that she wwants to meet you also
and if you get uppity i can alwways feed you to the tentacled monster in the basement

YEAH, FAIR ENOUGH.
POINT ME IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION, I CAN BE THERE IN A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME.

(no subject)

wwaterboy - 2012-09-16 02:20 (UTC) - Expand