lostnetwork | 1 ♋ VIDEO

[ Most people who know a Karkat Vantas will recognize this troll when he appears on the network, but he'll look pretty...different to most if not all of them. He's got a scar on one cheek, pierced ears, and his horns are a bit notched from what looks like blade slices. Also, he's wearing a completely pristine white coat. ]

All right, kids, listen up. First things first, I need a roll call here. I'm not holding out much hope but if any of you know any of these people then speak up - or especially if you are these people, don't think I won't kick your ass from here to the Gods-damned Ascension for being coy with me. I'm looking for Archagent Eridan Ampora, has these chewed-up fins on his face and a face like God took out all their favorite bits but left him pretty anyway, can't have an emotion that doesn't belong in a soap opera. Sollux Captor, probably behind a computer and failing to remember that food and sleep exist as we speak, if you've seen him and haven't been blinded by the world's tackiest gold cape that he just loves wearing at all times then you're lucky. Terezi Pyrope, blind and completely inappropriate at all times and with a wardrobe that induces more seizures than Sollux, probably pails herself to courtblock dramas every night. Gamzee Makara, the hugest doofiest clown cultist ever, unfairly good cook but don't ever eat his pies unless you like tripping out on sopor. If any of these names and descriptions are familiar to you, speak the fuck up, I haven't got time to search out every hidey-hole in this hopbeast warren of a city.

Secondly, I've already been imposed on by one giant lizard to go get him stuff, so why not, I'll be generous. My name's Karkat Vantas, I'm a Threshecutioner, my job is to keep the world oiled so hell, if you've got a problem then lay it on me. I don't trust any of these asswounds who had the great idea to kidnap people and make them fix their shit instead of fixing it themselves, but whatever, I have important things to do back home so I'm not going to sit on my glutes whining. If they want me to help I'll help with anything within reason, as long as it gets me home faster. Most of my work back home involved the undead, giant monsters and relationship drama, but I'll do whatever needs doing. Hit me up if you need anything, it's not like I can get a break back home so there's not much point to taking one here.

[ He might sound just a little bitter about that. After a moment, he sighs and shuts off the video. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

::He can appreciate businesslike attitude with snark. It's much more entertaining than stick-in-the-mud methods of discussing business.

Prussia considers his phrasing carefully, before he speaks.::

Okay, so. There's this guy I know. We'll call him Person A because I'm not giving out names over these mirrors. A happens to be in love with B. He thinks. He's not quite sure, since A and B are also on opposite sides of a really huge war. B might like A back? But half the time, A and B are at each other's throats. The other half the time, they get along well.

And if that's not complicated enough, there's Person C to consider. A is pretty loyal to C. Looked out for C when he was younger. Still keeps an eye on him, and would protect him from anything. And C generally keeps A out of trouble, because oh man can A get in trouble. Except B and C are enemies, full stop, and C likely -though he's never come out and said it- prefer it if A did not have any warm, fuzzy feelings about B unless said feelings came from beating the shit out of B.

Which does generate a warm, fuzzy feeling; but that's besides the point.

You still following or do I need to give more details? ::He'd rather not have to, but...::

1 ♋ VIDEO

[video] poor karkat just can't escape from duty...