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[cu_chulainn]

--Shhh. Stay still. Let me put this down and stop wagging... [Lancer was knelt in front of two dogs, both trying to raise their front paws and push him away. He clucked his tongue, handling a mass of rope, pulling knots out of it and scowling irritably. One could see he was wearing a plain black suit and tie and after he finished with the rope, he pulled up a brown bag which emitted a few gentle clangs as if it were full of bottles of liquor.

Of course, that's what it was full of. Having already blown through quite a bit of his initial stipend, Lancer started tying the bottles of liquor to one of the wolves--to which the beast whimpered pleadingly. Lancer gave it an arch look as he continued tying the bottles to it, effectively making it a pack hound.

The second wolf took the procedure with a little more grace as Lancer removed packs of cigarettes from the bag as well, tying them to its upper body before opening a pack and lighting one for himself. When he was done, he picked up the mirror and slipped it under one of the ropes hugging the second wolf, not aware that it was on at all.]

Am I forgettin' anything? [Lancer stood up and scratched his throat with his fingertips, trying to remember.]

Comments

[unfathomabubbly]

Water you even doing?

[ Have a healthy dose of blatant incredulity at this scene. There are so many ways in which aliens tying cigarettes and booze to dogs doesn't make sense. ]

[cu_chulainn]

[Pausing, the ancient Celt looked back at the two dogs who followed him as he left the scene. Bottles could be heard jingling as the first dog stopped, Lancer's eyes fixed on the second.]

Did you say something?

[He still didn't recognize the mirror as anything remotely important--just a gift he didn't really want to break. Funny, then, his lack of precaution in strapping it to a demonic familiar.]

[unfathomabubbly]

Did I? A question more for you than it is for me, shore is, I think.

[ Her voice echoes a bit as she goes into her bathroom to press her mirror up against the one in there. There, her clever ruse will never be unraveled and she is the most brilliant of the seadwellers.

Because figuring out to switch it to voice only is more complicated than this bizarre ruse. ]

It could be nofin at all.

[cu_chulainn]

[And somehow, Feferi passed up the chance to do a Scooby Doo impression and drive Lancer into a goddamn fit of rage. He whistled towards the dog, inspecting it. The only way he really 'spoke' to them was with little gestures of his posture, motions of his fingers and his gaze. His ability to 'hear' what they said was nothing more than reading gestures by way of excellent training.

Rather, Lancer was entertaining the words thrown at him casually enough that it made it seem like it was a regular thing that he talked to evil dogs.]

That's a pretty lady-like voice you've got. Plus--is that an accent you've got, pup?

[The dog stared at him, intelligent enough to understand that Lancer was being a jerk.]

[unfathomabubbly]

[ She had a deprived wigglerhood, sadly. So instead, she'll be entertaining herself with what she is so sure is cleverness.

No one ever said Feferi Peixes was the smartest girl. ]

It ain't an accent, that's a mistake nobubbly should make. As for if I'm a lady, it wasn't a title I claimed for myself at all.

[cu_chulainn]

Well, now. How should I be so convinced you're not a lady when this is the first you've spoken about yourself? [Lancer reached down to pop one of the small bottles of whiskey off of the dog, unscrewing the top with a lazy grin. The dog, of course, watched in silence.]

If not for the fact that I've seen you lick your balls before, it might have been a fair claim on your part.

[unfathomabubbly]

[ What...? She's faintly puzzled now. ]

Seems a bit discriminatory to be saying someone's not a lady just for what they lick.

[cu_chulainn]

[Lancer grimaced, plucking the mirror out of one of the rope lines on the dog. He yelled at it--]

What's so bad about discriminating in that sense!? It's visible identification!

So, why don't you just cut the lame act?! I know this thing's a comm!

[mama_saber]

An animal lover are we?

[cu_chulainn]

[By then, Lancer understood what the mirror was for and as he walked, he had picked it up off of the familiar he strapped it to, giving Saber a quizzical look.]

If that's what you wanna call it. Who're you?

[mama_saber]

My name is Arturia Pendragon, though some have taken to calling me Saber in the past.

[cu_chulainn]

[--To which at the end of her name, Lancer felt at a complete loss. Well, shit. Even if he was a poor knight, he was still a knight. There were a few rules that applied to him even at that. Despite the shock, Lancer knew there were few idiots imaginative enough to make an outlandish claim like that.]

Well, now. You say 'in the past'... But, I didn't think Servants would last very long after the war even if they won. Since you've dished everything so easily, though--

Lancer. My name is 'Cu Chulainn', King of Knights.

[mama_saber]

It's been several years since the end of the Grail War and thus that is why no one has called me Saber in quite sometime.

And it is an honor to meet a hero such as yourself, and a relief that we could meet without having to fight to the death.

[cu_chulainn]

Really? That must have been quite an easy win for you. Though, I can't say I agree with you on that front.

It's a rule that when two Servants meet, they have to fight. Has it been so long that you've forgotten?

[mama_saber]

It was not easy and many lives were lost in the process. But I will have you know I am many things now, a wife and mother first and foremost among them, but I am no one's servant.

[cu_chulainn]

You're... [Disbelief struck the Hound with glaring confusion.]

What the hell would give the King of Knights cause to settle down? Is the modern age that boring?

[deusexhormones]

Thaaaat your mirror is recording, possibly?

[cu_chulainn]

Well, I was actually asking myself that question in regards to important things.

[deusexhormones]

Like what, if you got the right cigarette brand?

[cu_chulainn]

That depends on what you mean by 'brand'. [Dude comes from an artisan and small-trades culture.]

[deusexhormones]

I mean brand as in brand. There's more than one type, you know. Jeez, if you're buying packs shouldn't you be aware of that much?

[cu_chulainn]

'Type'? I dunno, I got these 'Red's... [He lifted up the pack for Haruki to see--it was a pack of Marlboros. Lancer assumed 'Marlboro' was the name of the guy who did the curing for the tobacco or something as most artisans put their own names on their products when they got a chance to.]

[deusexhormones]

Oh wow, they have Earth brands here.

[Lightly. Not that it mattered too much for him, but he was wondering about it.]

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[heartstone]

[What the heck is this guy doing? She stares at the mirror for a long time, totally puzzled.]

What, are those sled dogs or something?

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[cu_chulainn]

They don't look like sled dogs to me. [He smiled and shrugged all the same.]

Still, that's what they're being used for.