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001 . video . psa

[The video clicks on to reveal a small, slender, nervous-looking redhead. She has a frilly white blouse on covered with a leather bomber jacket, more stylish than functional, and she's fidgeting in her seat.

She takes a visible breath and says, somewhat stilted,] Hi. Willow. --That's me, Willow, my name, and. You should call me that. And you should email me?

Wait, sorry, I'm doing this in the wrong order. [She looks embarrassed, but then shakes her head and starts over, calmer now that she's getting into the rhythm.]

I'm Willow Rosenberg and I'm the official Darstone liaison to the newcomers. That means you, cause, if you're on this network, you're a newcomer-- a dimensional kidnap-ee. It's probably not government approved to say kidnap-ee, but that's okay because I work for them so I'm allowed to be especially disgruntled. Actually, even though I work for them, I'm in more or less the same position as you, I just got here earlier. When they needed someone for the job about a month ago I said yes.

Anyway... [Pause as she tries to recover her conversational thread.] Being the liaison means you should come to me if you have problems settling into the city, or if you need to talk to someone official and don't know how to reach them. I can get you in touch. I'm not responsible for deciding who gets to go home, so don't bug me about that or you'll make me cranky and mildly disapproving, and I don't like to be cranky.

But you really should email me if you need something. That's what I'm here for. I also do emergency response sometimes if something goes wrong with one of us, and trust me, I can handle it. So don't cause problems or you'll have to deal with me. [This is half bluffing and half honest confidence.] That means whoever sent those shadow things around during the festival, I better not see that happen again or I'm going to track you down, and there will be consequences.

[Her eyebrows go up in open evaluation.] Got it? Oh, and whoever's sending out the spying snakes, that's just creepy, but not illegal. So keep it not illegal or I'll sic the police chief on you, and she's scary.

... Any questions? About me or about what's going on? It's really mostly answered in the guide on your mirror, but I am answer girl if you have something else.

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It's good that you've got some, but renting sort of takes continual income, [she says helpfully.] Most landlords won't sign off unless they know you can pay not just this month, but the next six or twelve. But we have all kind of jobs-- respectful ones, even. What kind of things do you like to do?

[She blinks in surprise at him asking about the war, saying hesitantly,] You want to hear about the Revolution? Why?

You think I don't know that? I'm not an idiot, Will; giwe me some fuckin' credit. [A pause.] Not too sure about how you calendar works, I admit, but that bit's hardly my own fault.

As for what I like doin', well, I'm an accomplished hunter. There ain't a thing I can't take down, and I've got experience a plenty both on and off my home planet. You try surwiwin' the majority of a 600-some hour session fightin' off the fastest, angriest angels you'we ewer seen, especially when you'we newer seen one before that. And all that was with my old rifle, and not my wand, which is more powerful still. I also got knowledge and experience of tactics, military-ish, as was needed for both surwiwal in my Land and durin' past Flarp campaigns.

[At the second question, his eyebrow lifts above the rim of his glasses.]

Are you sure you met me before I came here? If you did you ought to know by now that I like readin' about all the wars in history, particularly the conquerors and other military leaders. So come on, tell me. You said you're proud of it, didn't you?

Edited 2012-09-03 20:17 (UTC)

Geez, don't be so prickly. I thought you'd probably never had to rent somewhere before. I was being helpful. [She pouts at him, but gamely forges on through the conversation.]

... Should you really have been fighting angels in the first place? Wait, no, irrelevant. Well, if you want to do the fighting side of things, there's always work out in the surrounding caves, and there's some pretty lawless settlements down the lake coast. Somehow I don't think you'd like police work that much.

[Willow shrugs.] I met you-you once, and not for very long. We weren't exactly talking about your hobbies. [And her Eridan... well, talking about history tended to be a delicate topic with him, so she just tried not to. She didn't want to upset him.] It was actually really long and complicated. It took the war a long time to start, because a lot of people didn't want to declare independence at all. Plus we won by using guerilla tactics, so it was messy.

Of course I'we newer had to rent anywhere, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't get the concept.

[He didn't just wake up and decide he wants to move; he's been thinking about this since he learned he has roommates. Probably before, with how small the place is, though he knows by now that something like his old ship hive isn't so easily attainable.]

[I.e. he went and complained that same day and someone told him this stuff.]

As for the angels, they were monstrous things lookin' to kill me, and as no one else was willin' to take up the job, that left me.

What are police? Are there any particulars to those jobs you could list, or will I hawe to look into it myself?

[To her shrug, he shrugs back. It's not so important when she's obliging him on the subject.]

Long and complicated makes it all the more interestin', if you ask me. Political machinations are as important as the battles; one wouldn't happen without the other. But tell me more. What were the big battles? Who were the leaders? What were the turning points and big ewents which shaped the course of the conflict? Though I'd say your ancestors were right for realizin' they should'we stayed under royal rule, if those royals still lost, I want to know how.

Well excuse me, then. Not to mention, when I hear the word 'angel' I don't actually think of something monstrous and murderous. [Which is pretty rare for her, not that he can appreciate that.

She raises her eyebrows at the questions about jobs.] Police are law enforcement. They make sure people are obeying the law-- without culling them, [she clarifies.] That's very, very illegal here. The other jobs I mentioned are more like... bounty hunting, I guess? For dangerous creatures that have been attacking people on the outskirts.

[And then, wow, but he really is interested in this war stuff. Too bad for him that he wants this all in way more detail than Willow feels like explaining, not to mention he's probably going to make snide pot shots at how they should still be happy under royalty every step of the way. She looks reluctant.]

How about I just get you a book on this? Way more detail than I could ever remember. The library must have something. [Actually she has no idea if their interdimensional collection extends to history books, but she's ready to find out.]

Then either yours are a sort different, for which you should consider yourself fortunate, or you'we simply newer encountered one - much less the drowes and drowes I dispatched.

[LOWAA's angels were fiendish, man. As Willow continues, however, his interest perks back up, as do his fins.]

No culling? Are you kiddin' me? I know someone who I'm positiwe would hawe more than a few words on the subject, but whatewer. So long as this creature-hunting bounty business won't restrict me from slayin' my prey, and it's downright stupid of 'em should they want it any other way, I may well look into it.

[Again his fins flick.]

I'll take any relewant book you can find. Where's the library? If it's got books from other uniwerses there's all the more reason for me to giwe it a look, and I enjoy a good read as it stands.

Okay, so I haven't seen one, but I was all hopeful. It's kind of depressing that the one thing I thought wouldn't want to kill me probably does. It was like the last bastion of hope from living on the Hellmouth.

I'm not kidding, [she goes on firmly.] No culling at all, I don't care who has words. They just bring most people back here, anyway. It wouldn't do anything, so don't try it. Go kill the... the creatures. Not people.

[Willow has a brief moment of internal struggle in which one part of her goes awww, he likes reading, and another says, no, ugh, he's such a fascist.]

The library is in Queen's Run, the district next to the government buildings. It's just a couple blocks down from the assigned housing, toward the lake. You'd be looking for 18th century American history if you wanted something on the Revolutionary War.

Edited 2012-09-14 22:10 (UTC)

What's a hellmouth?

[Talk of killing and revival, though... That lowers his fins, and his mouth pulls into a complicated expression.]

It just seems an inefficient way a handlin' justice, if you ask me, plus matters of self-defense and pickin' off the weak.

[Alternian mentality sure is fun, huh?]

But I'm not lookin' to kill anyone if I don't hawe to, Will. ... They really rewiwe 'em if someone does?

[He knew Feferi came back alive, sure enough, but not this particular detail. Of course he neglects to mention as much if only to avoid possible questions.]

Eighteenth century American history? Got it. Any other wars you could recommend learnin' about?

It's a portal to hell, [she says matter-of-factly.] There was one in my town, though I didn't know that until high school. It means there was a lot of demons and oogly-booglies and general murder happening all the time.

And yes, they do revive someone if they die, except for the virus, which they can't. That's why it's such a big deal around here. There's a couple other ways you can't get revived, but... [If he's going to be that casual about killing people, Willow doesn't want to tell him what they are. She smooths over that pause by saying,] Just keep not killing anyone and it won't be a problem. We'll handle justice our own way.

[Not that Willow thought she was a good person to handle justice-- she very definitely wasn't. That's why she was so relieved the police around here could actually handle this stuff; she didn't trust herself to.]

Um... maybe feudal Japan? [she suggests tentatively, purposefully avoiding WW2 with England and Germany around.] That was like centuries of complicated infighting, if I remember correctly, in a war based society. You'd probably like it. [It's not even a veiled insult, she just means that honestly.]

Demons--? Seriously?

[He actually looks concerned there. Even if he's not sure what high school is, but who knows how trollish education systems work.]

I mean I had to surwiwe a planet full a wrathful angels, but that was temporary and I had expert marksmanship on my side.

And I'm not the law-obsessor Ter was, so it's not like I'm going to go out deliwerin' wigilante justice. I'we newer liwed among humans or any other a these species before, so it's not that unthinkable that I'd be curious how you work.

[He picks at his shirt some.]

So long as no one makes an attempt on me, they'll be fine themselwes.

[But now, more reading recommendations. He settles and takes the information in, looking quite genuinely interested. Centuries of infighting, she says?]

Sounds perfect. I'll giwe it a look too.

Yeah, um, lots of demons. Like Las Vegas for demons. And I'm not exactly any good with weapons, so I was pretty defenseless. I met one of my best friends because she saved me from being vampire food.

[She seems pretty unashamed about being so hopeless and vulnerable, maybe because that's so patently not the case anymore. But it is true that without her magic, or if she's caught by surprise, Willow is a sitting duck. She's well acquainted with the 'scream and run away' form of defense.]

Well... good. I don't want anyone to be doing any attempting. Lack of attempting and, and being curious is okay. I just don't want anything to happen to the city. [It was such a massive improvement over Animus that if she couldn't be home, she at least wants to stay here, with everyone safe.]

Then she smiles briefly at the last bit, pleased to have done something right, at least.] Let me know how it goes.

What's a Las Vegas? Or a wampire?

[Lucky him, he hasn't met his world's equivalent of the latter ~~yet~~. The second topic he lets end with her comments; he's said his part and there's not much else to ask.]

Not sure why you care if you're not the ones readin' them, but if you're sure.

Edited 2012-09-17 19:40 (UTC)

Las Vegas is a city famous for gambling and, um, ladies of the evening. I guess for you that's ladies of the day? [There's a short pause as her expression blanks out, trying to remember-- but thankfully vampires come up pretty regularly for her, so after a moment she recalls the troll word for it.] Vampires are rainbow drinkers, I think? Bloodsucking undead fiends.

Caring is friendly, [she protests.] See me, being friendly? Aren't I being friendly?

[Ladies of the day... Kanaya sleeps at night... Opposite for humans...]

Nocturnal women? Or just insomniacs?

[That whoosh is the point sailing over his head.]

Rainbow drinkers is right. You really had to deal with those?

[His fins flick up, curious, pleased.]

I suppose you are. I don't think I'we got a problem, then.

[Geez, she was trying to keep things PG-13. Willow hates talking about stuff like this, but she is an adult. She can say it if she wants to. Really.]

... Prostitutes?

--Um, yes, I had to deal with them. A ton of them, actually. The first thing I learned how to levitate was a pencil so I could stake them from a distance.

[Sometimes he really isn't that different from her Eridan, and perking up at her declaration of friendless was easily one of those ways they were similar. It was just like him when they'd met; the reminder gives her a slight, soft smile.]

Good. No problems is good.

[That's distinctly clearer. His cheeks color.]

I think that's all I want to know about any bloodsuckin' pails for sale your city had.

[Which is not really the point, but he doesn't quite care.]

But I'll tell you, lewitatin' pencils are a piss poor weapon for anythin' serious.

[Oh damn it, now she's blushing, too. She's very conscious that he's somewhere around thirteen in human years-- she totally doesn't want to be discussing prostitutes with someone ten years younger than her.] I tried to use a euphemism, [she objects.] I was euphemizing. I don't exactly want to talk about it, either.

Our vampires go poof when you put a wooden stake through their heart, and apparently pencils are close enough that they count? So it does work -- sort of all I could do at the time. Thankfully I've graduated to better methods of self-defense since then.

Edited 2012-09-19 17:24 (UTC)

Then can we drop the fuckin' subject?

[Seriously, with the embarrassment of it he'll turn into a grape at this rate.]

--That may be all fine and good, [ahem,] but it wouldn't help you against much anything else. So if you'we got better methods now, good for you. I'd be downright disappointed in you had you thought a floatin' writing utensil made for a proper weapon.

Dropped! Completely dropped. [She can't even find his turning purple endearing and cute with how embarrassed she is herself, so it's definitely dropped.]

It wasn't that bad. I'll have you know I dusted plenty of vamps with that strategy. [Willow pouts, though it's more playful than truly hurt.] But for non-stakeable enemies, yeah, not so effective. I hit an internet demon-cyborg hybrid with a fire extinguisher once. That's less disappointing, right?

Internet demon what?

[Sorry, but impressive or not, he's just kind of staring right now.]

[She falls into the explanation easily and almost cheerily, as if this were commonplace for her.]

There was this book he'd been sealed into by some monks a few hundred years ago, and Giles was scanning in all his books, you know, updating to the technological age. When the book got scanned in, the demon got uploaded. Except he could only take physical form by inhabiting a robot body or something? I don't remember, it was a few years ago.

Anyway, he'd been talking to me online and tricked me into thinking he as a sensitive misunderstood human boy, and then he came back to the realm of the living and offered to let me rule at his side. I politely turned him down, by which I mean I freaked, and he tried to kill me. So I hit him with a fire extinguisher and Buffy shoved him into a breaker and electrocuted him.

That was the end of Moloch.

[Eridan stares throughout the explanation, a bit incredulous, because really. Scanned book internet robot demon.]

[Then again, he did know a robot ghost frog sprite.]

If that Giles ewer shows up, he's not allowed near any technological dewices a mine, you understand? I'we already had a computer blown up on me once, and I'd rather not hawe to instigate it myself because a some ridiculous internet demon, ewen if my wand would be perfect for the job.

[Willow grins, and then grins more widely.] Don't worry, Giles tries to stay as far away from technology as he can. He calls them infernal devices.

So you have a wand, huh? [This part she hasn't heard before.]

I'd hardly call 'em infernal, but better for us both that he keeps his distance.

And yes, I hawe a wand. An empiricist's wand, before you get any funny ideas; it wields the light of hope and science, nothin' fake.

[To prove it, he extracts it from his strife deck and holds it up for viewing. It's wooden and white in color, patterned with a carving of ivy over the surface.]

He's a little stuffy that way, [she says affectionately, and then leans in with interest to examine the image of the wand on her screen.]

Magic is supposed to follow the laws of science, you know. At least mine does. It obeys conservation of mass and physics and all that, it's just hard to tell, watching it. But I don't think it's funny if your wand has a reasonable explanation to it somewhere-- the light of hope has probably powered other things before.

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video; god that plot was so ridiculous xD I have seen that ep at least!

video; LOL you have? the earlier episodes were SO campy

video; yeah, I've seen a couple of the earlier seasons through, though I forget where I left off

video; the early seasons are so 90's I can't blame you for stopping hahah