lostnetwork | 001 . video . psa

[The video clicks on to reveal a small, slender, nervous-looking redhead. She has a frilly white blouse on covered with a leather bomber jacket, more stylish than functional, and she's fidgeting in her seat.

She takes a visible breath and says, somewhat stilted,] Hi. Willow. --That's me, Willow, my name, and. You should call me that. And you should email me?

Wait, sorry, I'm doing this in the wrong order. [She looks embarrassed, but then shakes her head and starts over, calmer now that she's getting into the rhythm.]

I'm Willow Rosenberg and I'm the official Darstone liaison to the newcomers. That means you, cause, if you're on this network, you're a newcomer-- a dimensional kidnap-ee. It's probably not government approved to say kidnap-ee, but that's okay because I work for them so I'm allowed to be especially disgruntled. Actually, even though I work for them, I'm in more or less the same position as you, I just got here earlier. When they needed someone for the job about a month ago I said yes.

Anyway... [Pause as she tries to recover her conversational thread.] Being the liaison means you should come to me if you have problems settling into the city, or if you need to talk to someone official and don't know how to reach them. I can get you in touch. I'm not responsible for deciding who gets to go home, so don't bug me about that or you'll make me cranky and mildly disapproving, and I don't like to be cranky.

But you really should email me if you need something. That's what I'm here for. I also do emergency response sometimes if something goes wrong with one of us, and trust me, I can handle it. So don't cause problems or you'll have to deal with me. [This is half bluffing and half honest confidence.] That means whoever sent those shadow things around during the festival, I better not see that happen again or I'm going to track you down, and there will be consequences.

[Her eyebrows go up in open evaluation.] Got it? Oh, and whoever's sending out the spying snakes, that's just creepy, but not illegal. So keep it not illegal or I'll sic the police chief on you, and she's scary.

... Any questions? About me or about what's going on? It's really mostly answered in the guide on your mirror, but I am answer girl if you have something else.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Come on, they wouldn't even notice at the hospital, [she teases.] And wouldn't smelling like pastries make you compulsively hungry all the time, anyway? Very distracting and bad for your figure.

Miss Jane Crocker and her bakery is going to be bad enough for my figure. Smelling like pastry all the time probably wouldn't be too much worse.

I saw that post. I was trying to determinedly block it from my mind so I wouldn't feel the temptation.

You're ruining the blocking.

If I'm going to get fat, you're going to get some love handles right along with me.

Eridan might like you even better with some blubber, you never know!

I don't think being a seadweller works that way, [she says with a laugh.] Or at least I hope it doesn't.

And for you, just think, you'd have to buy a whole new line of labcoats in a size up.

The only think I would need to buy is some more fabric. You know how good I am at sewing.

And maybe I can find out for you if that's what being a seadweller entails. We seem to have enough of them now that one mysteriously disappearing might not raise any eyebrows.

Wouldn't your coat look all seam-y then? You have to look professional.

--Oh no no, [she says quickly.] That's okay. I like all of the seadwellers we have here, that I've um, met. Let's leave them alone.

You are never any fun, Willow.

I'm plenty of fun, [she protests.] Just not vivisection fun. I don't think that's a personal failing.

No, it is in fact the absolute worst kind of personal failing and you should work to fix this immediately.

Uh-huh. In the meantime I'll work on your snake repellant. Do you have a certain kind of jewelry you wear on a daily basis, or a... a favorite scalpel or something? I need an item to attach the enchantment to so that you can turn the effect off if you need to.

Can I buy a necklace or something at the market, or does it need to be something I already own?

No, it could be whatever. Your attachment to it isn't significant in this spell, just that you're wearing it.

Sounds like I'll get to go shopping then. How fun.

Enjoy yourself.

001 . video . psa

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