lostnetwork | 001 . video . psa

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001 . video . psa

[The video clicks on to reveal a small, slender, nervous-looking redhead. She has a frilly white blouse on covered with a leather bomber jacket, more stylish than functional, and she's fidgeting in her seat.

She takes a visible breath and says, somewhat stilted,] Hi. Willow. --That's me, Willow, my name, and. You should call me that. And you should email me?

Wait, sorry, I'm doing this in the wrong order. [She looks embarrassed, but then shakes her head and starts over, calmer now that she's getting into the rhythm.]

I'm Willow Rosenberg and I'm the official Darstone liaison to the newcomers. That means you, cause, if you're on this network, you're a newcomer-- a dimensional kidnap-ee. It's probably not government approved to say kidnap-ee, but that's okay because I work for them so I'm allowed to be especially disgruntled. Actually, even though I work for them, I'm in more or less the same position as you, I just got here earlier. When they needed someone for the job about a month ago I said yes.

Anyway... [Pause as she tries to recover her conversational thread.] Being the liaison means you should come to me if you have problems settling into the city, or if you need to talk to someone official and don't know how to reach them. I can get you in touch. I'm not responsible for deciding who gets to go home, so don't bug me about that or you'll make me cranky and mildly disapproving, and I don't like to be cranky.

But you really should email me if you need something. That's what I'm here for. I also do emergency response sometimes if something goes wrong with one of us, and trust me, I can handle it. So don't cause problems or you'll have to deal with me. [This is half bluffing and half honest confidence.] That means whoever sent those shadow things around during the festival, I better not see that happen again or I'm going to track you down, and there will be consequences.

[Her eyebrows go up in open evaluation.] Got it? Oh, and whoever's sending out the spying snakes, that's just creepy, but not illegal. So keep it not illegal or I'll sic the police chief on you, and she's scary.

... Any questions? About me or about what's going on? It's really mostly answered in the guide on your mirror, but I am answer girl if you have something else.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, um, lots of demons. Like Las Vegas for demons. And I'm not exactly any good with weapons, so I was pretty defenseless. I met one of my best friends because she saved me from being vampire food.

[She seems pretty unashamed about being so hopeless and vulnerable, maybe because that's so patently not the case anymore. But it is true that without her magic, or if she's caught by surprise, Willow is a sitting duck. She's well acquainted with the 'scream and run away' form of defense.]

Well... good. I don't want anyone to be doing any attempting. Lack of attempting and, and being curious is okay. I just don't want anything to happen to the city. [It was such a massive improvement over Animus that if she couldn't be home, she at least wants to stay here, with everyone safe.]

Then she smiles briefly at the last bit, pleased to have done something right, at least.] Let me know how it goes.

What's a Las Vegas? Or a wampire?

[Lucky him, he hasn't met his world's equivalent of the latter ~~yet~~. The second topic he lets end with her comments; he's said his part and there's not much else to ask.]

Not sure why you care if you're not the ones readin' them, but if you're sure.

Edited 2012-09-17 19:40 (UTC)

Las Vegas is a city famous for gambling and, um, ladies of the evening. I guess for you that's ladies of the day? [There's a short pause as her expression blanks out, trying to remember-- but thankfully vampires come up pretty regularly for her, so after a moment she recalls the troll word for it.] Vampires are rainbow drinkers, I think? Bloodsucking undead fiends.

Caring is friendly, [she protests.] See me, being friendly? Aren't I being friendly?

[Ladies of the day... Kanaya sleeps at night... Opposite for humans...]

Nocturnal women? Or just insomniacs?

[That whoosh is the point sailing over his head.]

Rainbow drinkers is right. You really had to deal with those?

[His fins flick up, curious, pleased.]

I suppose you are. I don't think I'we got a problem, then.

[Geez, she was trying to keep things PG-13. Willow hates talking about stuff like this, but she is an adult. She can say it if she wants to. Really.]

... Prostitutes?

--Um, yes, I had to deal with them. A ton of them, actually. The first thing I learned how to levitate was a pencil so I could stake them from a distance.

[Sometimes he really isn't that different from her Eridan, and perking up at her declaration of friendless was easily one of those ways they were similar. It was just like him when they'd met; the reminder gives her a slight, soft smile.]

Good. No problems is good.

[That's distinctly clearer. His cheeks color.]

I think that's all I want to know about any bloodsuckin' pails for sale your city had.

[Which is not really the point, but he doesn't quite care.]

But I'll tell you, lewitatin' pencils are a piss poor weapon for anythin' serious.

[Oh damn it, now she's blushing, too. She's very conscious that he's somewhere around thirteen in human years-- she totally doesn't want to be discussing prostitutes with someone ten years younger than her.] I tried to use a euphemism, [she objects.] I was euphemizing. I don't exactly want to talk about it, either.

Our vampires go poof when you put a wooden stake through their heart, and apparently pencils are close enough that they count? So it does work -- sort of all I could do at the time. Thankfully I've graduated to better methods of self-defense since then.

Edited 2012-09-19 17:24 (UTC)

Then can we drop the fuckin' subject?

[Seriously, with the embarrassment of it he'll turn into a grape at this rate.]

--That may be all fine and good, [ahem,] but it wouldn't help you against much anything else. So if you'we got better methods now, good for you. I'd be downright disappointed in you had you thought a floatin' writing utensil made for a proper weapon.

Dropped! Completely dropped. [She can't even find his turning purple endearing and cute with how embarrassed she is herself, so it's definitely dropped.]

It wasn't that bad. I'll have you know I dusted plenty of vamps with that strategy. [Willow pouts, though it's more playful than truly hurt.] But for non-stakeable enemies, yeah, not so effective. I hit an internet demon-cyborg hybrid with a fire extinguisher once. That's less disappointing, right?

Internet demon what?

[Sorry, but impressive or not, he's just kind of staring right now.]

[She falls into the explanation easily and almost cheerily, as if this were commonplace for her.]

There was this book he'd been sealed into by some monks a few hundred years ago, and Giles was scanning in all his books, you know, updating to the technological age. When the book got scanned in, the demon got uploaded. Except he could only take physical form by inhabiting a robot body or something? I don't remember, it was a few years ago.

Anyway, he'd been talking to me online and tricked me into thinking he as a sensitive misunderstood human boy, and then he came back to the realm of the living and offered to let me rule at his side. I politely turned him down, by which I mean I freaked, and he tried to kill me. So I hit him with a fire extinguisher and Buffy shoved him into a breaker and electrocuted him.

That was the end of Moloch.

[Eridan stares throughout the explanation, a bit incredulous, because really. Scanned book internet robot demon.]

[Then again, he did know a robot ghost frog sprite.]

If that Giles ewer shows up, he's not allowed near any technological dewices a mine, you understand? I'we already had a computer blown up on me once, and I'd rather not hawe to instigate it myself because a some ridiculous internet demon, ewen if my wand would be perfect for the job.

[Willow grins, and then grins more widely.] Don't worry, Giles tries to stay as far away from technology as he can. He calls them infernal devices.

So you have a wand, huh? [This part she hasn't heard before.]

I'd hardly call 'em infernal, but better for us both that he keeps his distance.

And yes, I hawe a wand. An empiricist's wand, before you get any funny ideas; it wields the light of hope and science, nothin' fake.

[To prove it, he extracts it from his strife deck and holds it up for viewing. It's wooden and white in color, patterned with a carving of ivy over the surface.]

He's a little stuffy that way, [she says affectionately, and then leans in with interest to examine the image of the wand on her screen.]

Magic is supposed to follow the laws of science, you know. At least mine does. It obeys conservation of mass and physics and all that, it's just hard to tell, watching it. But I don't think it's funny if your wand has a reasonable explanation to it somewhere-- the light of hope has probably powered other things before.

[Letting the subject of Giles shift away, Eridan turns his focus fully to the issue of magic and wands. Color him quite surprised at Willow's words, though pleasantly so.]

Yours does? Then I don't see why you call it magic; magic is a word for fake stuff from books and the like. It's pretend, fictional, and callin' real phenomena by its name is an insult to its means of operation.

[Willow shrugs. She'd been a straight A student before becoming a witch, and science and math always came easily to her, so in her view the magic-science connection made sense and was logical. It was something she'd thought about consistently during her time learning spells, whatever Anya had to say about not needing to.]

It's just how I learned it. I didn't really think anything of it cause a lot of things I was learning at the time were supposed to be fictional. Hellmouth, demons and vampires, [she says pointedly.] Magic was just one more thing, except I was good at it.

But all spells require an input of energy, and the more I try to go against nature, the more energy it takes. I have to get it from somewhere.

Will, I hawe been through utterly ridiculous life changin' ewents. I'we liwed through a real life wideo game, fought countless wrathful angels on a planet full a them, and contributed to the creation of an entire new uniwerse. I'we seen things a such magnitude you couldn't imagine, and I still know truer than anything that magic is fake. It's somethin' from fairy tales, plain and simple, and there's no other way about it.

[He's just as pointed in his explanation. For now, though, he recalls his wand back to his strife deck.]

Wherewer you get that energy from, it's from a source scientifically explainable as prowed by the fact it's ewen happenin'. Whether or not that explanation is known to you ain't the point, either. As Prince of Hope, I was gifted with the energies I wield, ewen if it took until after the game to unlock 'em. You--you're doin' something, I don't know, but callin' it magic is incorrect no matter which way you look at it.

[She listens with interest to his recounting of the things he's lived through, though she's heard things here and there about a world-creating video game already.]

I know it's scientifically explainable, but there's a history to the term magic. Humans have been doing spells in secret since thousands of years before the advancement of scientific thought. There's a tradition to it-- some witches are still taught personally by their mother, who learned it from their mother, and so on. My... Tara was like that, my girlfriend.

It doesn't bother me if it's technically inaccurate. I'm still a witch and I'm proud of that.

[Sigh.]

Just 'cause there's a history behind it doesn't stop it from bein' wrong. Witch, whatewer, that's a fair title, but magic still present it as somethin' it isn't. Don't expect me to go along easily while you're callin' it that.

[Now she's a little confused.] You're okay with witch? I don't think witch implies non-magic things, Eridan. Just saying.

Is there some PC term you like better? 'Completely scientifically explainable yet undefined acts of power' is a little long.

[Dangit, Willow, stop using logic on him.]

It's different there. In Sgrub it was a title, same as prince was, but I newer saw Fef claimin' to be a practitioner of magic. Not ewen Jade, as infuriatin' as she was. In fact it was the Seer who went playin' at the dark magician act, dabblin' with the horrorterrors and all that foolishness.

[But a better term, hm...]

Can't you just call it science? It serwes me well enough when I'm not usin' terms more specific to the nature a the power I wield.

[Sorry, she's good at logic when she's not trying to apply it to herself.]

Doesn't Sgrub also involves world creation frogs and time travel? [she points out.] It's not exactly the gold standard of sensible.

And, um, not to be argumentative, cause I really don't want to be, but I think science tends to be empirical. Not too much empirical about this. Maybe you should come up with something else, like, your own word. [Willow smiles encouragingly, trying to be supportive.]

That's half the point I'm makin'! Weren't you listenin' earlier? For all the unbeliewable things I'we seen and been through, I still know magic to be fake. It's for books, or playin' pretend - fictional things which acknowledge the honest fact that it ain't real.

[A huff.]

And my wand is an empiricist's wand, I'll hawe you know. I know it to be stronger than my old rifle, for example, because I prowed it against the same force. I'm not gonna make up a word, either.

Edited 2012-09-21 03:33 (UTC)

Yeah, um, I don't think your logic is our Earth logic, [she says dubiously.] You're taking this kind of personally.

[She also doesn't think just because something is called an empiricist's wand makes it empirical, but that seems too combative to say out loud.]

Edited 2012-09-21 20:41 (UTC)

001 . video . psa

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video; god that plot was so ridiculous xD I have seen that ep at least!

video; LOL you have? the earlier episodes were SO campy

video; yeah, I've seen a couple of the earlier seasons through, though I forget where I left off

video; the early seasons are so 90's I can't blame you for stopping hahah

video; oh, it wasn't because of that! I just got distracted and never picked it back up

video; oh, yeah, it is extremely long. that happens to a lot of people

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