001 . video . psa

[guiltapalooza]

[The video clicks on to reveal a small, slender, nervous-looking redhead. She has a frilly white blouse on covered with a leather bomber jacket, more stylish than functional, and she's fidgeting in her seat.

She takes a visible breath and says, somewhat stilted,] Hi. Willow. --That's me, Willow, my name, and. You should call me that. And you should email me?

Wait, sorry, I'm doing this in the wrong order. [She looks embarrassed, but then shakes her head and starts over, calmer now that she's getting into the rhythm.]

I'm Willow Rosenberg and I'm the official Darstone liaison to the newcomers. That means you, cause, if you're on this network, you're a newcomer-- a dimensional kidnap-ee. It's probably not government approved to say kidnap-ee, but that's okay because I work for them so I'm allowed to be especially disgruntled. Actually, even though I work for them, I'm in more or less the same position as you, I just got here earlier. When they needed someone for the job about a month ago I said yes.

Anyway... [Pause as she tries to recover her conversational thread.] Being the liaison means you should come to me if you have problems settling into the city, or if you need to talk to someone official and don't know how to reach them. I can get you in touch. I'm not responsible for deciding who gets to go home, so don't bug me about that or you'll make me cranky and mildly disapproving, and I don't like to be cranky.

But you really should email me if you need something. That's what I'm here for. I also do emergency response sometimes if something goes wrong with one of us, and trust me, I can handle it. So don't cause problems or you'll have to deal with me. [This is half bluffing and half honest confidence.] That means whoever sent those shadow things around during the festival, I better not see that happen again or I'm going to track you down, and there will be consequences.

[Her eyebrows go up in open evaluation.] Got it? Oh, and whoever's sending out the spying snakes, that's just creepy, but not illegal. So keep it not illegal or I'll sic the police chief on you, and she's scary.

... Any questions? About me or about what's going on? It's really mostly answered in the guide on your mirror, but I am answer girl if you have something else.

Comments

[anaglyphiic]

II am.
II haven't done anythiing liike that 2iince.
II'd really rather not do iit, hone2tly.
Kiind of ii2 contrary two tryiing two 2pread peace.
2iigh.

[guiltapalooza]

Oh. Yeah, it is a little contrary.

But if you need help while you're here, if you get in any trouble or anything, you don't have to kill them. I'll try to help, at least. You could ask.

[anaglyphiic]

... IIt'2 more a reflex.
IIt'2 not liike II want two.
But no.
II'm good at 2elf-re2traiint.

[guiltapalooza]

Sorry, I just got worried. You never know what someone's gonna be like.

I was serious, though, I'll try to help if I can. That's what I'm here for, helping. And you said your moirail's here, so, it'll be alright.

[anaglyphiic]

II hope 2o.
And ye2.
II'll let you know iif 2omethiing goe2 awry.

[guiltapalooza]

Thanks. I'll try to stop nagging you about it, then.

You know, you're pretty different from the Sollux I met before. Unless you're hiding a giant bee somewhere, in which case I'd say you're secretly exactly the same.

[anaglyphiic]

...No. II don't know anythiing about bee2 nor would II hiide one.
II ... gue22 iin2ect-relatiion2 are a thiing more akiin two yellowblood2.

[guiltapalooza]

Oh, is that what it is? I never knew, I just, noticed the bee thing. Hard to miss.

So if it's not insect relations, what are you interested in?

[anaglyphiic]

Well.
The Vrii2ka II know ha2 an ob2e22iion wiith wa2p2 2o II thiink iit'2 2afe two 2ay iit'2 a yellowblood thiing.

II'm iintere2ted iin... well.
a few thiing2.
Hii2tory, language2, traiin2. And viideo game2.

[guiltapalooza]

Oh, Vriska. Does she have a pathological lying bitch problem where you're from, too? [Willow's encounters with both of her that she'd met had been relatively brief, but very memorable.]

Those are good things! I end up doing a lot of research so I'm not too shabby at history and languages myself. Trains and video games on the other hand, much more likely to be embarrassing for me.

[anaglyphiic]

Well, 2he ii2 kiind of a biitch.
And hara22e2 Tavro2 a lot.
But II get the feeliing 2he'2 not a2 bad a2 the Vrii2ka everyone el2e know2.
Even iif 2he cheat2 at game2.

...What'2 wrong wiith traiin2 and viideo game2?

[guiltapalooza]

Harassing and cheating, less serious than feeding people to your giant spider lusus and then denying it ever happened afterward, yes. Somehow I got stuck in the middle of that.

Nothing! Nothing. I just think I'd probably be bad at them. Um, collectively. I know that I'm bad at video games and I'm not entirely clear what you do with trains so, probably bad.

[anaglyphiic]

...Gro22.

IIt'2 ju2t play wiith them. Liittle motoriized traiin2et2 you driive around on track2.
That'2 iit.
IIt'2 really hard two be bad at THAT.

[guiltapalooza]

Total gross. It was a big mess.

Oh! Oh, I was thinking, big sized trains, that you ride on. I think I could manage the little version. But I don't know if they have any here, except maybe magic powered toy caravans or something?

[anaglyphiic]

... What kiind of godle22 place doe2n't have toy traiin2.

[guiltapalooza]

Taking a shot in the dark, but a place without a god, I'm guessing.

Caravans aren't an acceptable substitute?

[anaglyphiic]

Caravan2 don't have 2team engiine2 or... perfect 2hape, or the level of detaiil or...
No they ju2t aren't acceptable 2ub2tiitute2.

[guiltapalooza]

Steam engines, not really a thing here. Sorry. And I'm not really sure if you could make one...

Maybe you'll find a new hobby?

[anaglyphiic]

...

[guiltapalooza]

So that's a no? Not even going to try crocheting?

[anaglyphiic]

Hell no.

[guiltapalooza]

Too bad. Coulda been funny.

If I see a train around, I'll let you know.

[anaglyphiic]

II'd 2uck at iit and iit'd be horriible and everyone'd laugh and II'm not goiing two do iit.

Alriight thank2.

[guiltapalooza]

I'd only laugh a little and then I'd be supportive, I swear.

[anaglyphiic]

not worth iit.